Sunday, July 14, 2013

India not safe for women

Today this is has become the topic of discussion everywhere.TV, radio, newspapers,blogs ( now mine), twitter, Facebook. Why are women not safe anymore in India? ( I know this is  a terrible cliche)

I was sitting on the Assi Ghat in Varanasi on the bank of the Ganga and a small group of youngsters land there with portable mikes and speakers, set it up and  start their protests vide fiery speeches. ( most of them dialogues from Hindi films) Of course, their effort and concern is commendable. It was all about the Nirbhaya rape case in Delhi. ( very unfortunate and tragic)

The speeches were the same we hear everywhere ( but these were with real feelings and passion)
* Not enough security for women
* Laws are not strict enough
* Investigations are slow and sluggish
* Indifferent governments
* Mothers responsible for weak sons /men
* Society that creates the male/female discrimination- men superior of course
* No self help groups
* Women activists should get more aggressive

So on and so forth. I sat there watching and hearing the young college students. Then they packed up and abruptly as they came. There were not many who were paying attention to them as it is.

This got me thinking- main facts

* There is no fear factor at all . Thanks to our weak and ineffective judiciary system. How come there are no rapes in Saudi Arabia? Every man knows the repercussions which is instant and permanent. India and democracy gives men the freedom to do anything they want and get away with it!

* Society filled with indifferent people who dont care and who dont want to get involved ( two nights ago my maid who is a single mother with two daughters had some vagrant men come to her house at midnight. she went out and shouted at them. and not a SINGLE neighbor bothered even to put on their lights).

There are many more. But enough of platitudes and blame games. What can WE do to avoid such brutal offences?Forget the aftermath. How do we prevent it from happening? Pretty simple:

* Make martial arts ( self defence techniques) compulsory in every school and neighborhood from class 1.. This will strengthen the body and the mind.
* Each one of us should educate one girl child somewhere in the country. Only with education there will be financial security ( and less dependency on men)
* Provide with life and personal skills ( confidence, self esteem, self worth, communication) which will ensure that everyone is supremely confident and self reliant
* Have local self help groups that provide the much needed support system.

This should change the position of women in the country. Only when women are confident, stable, self reliant, courageous , educated and smart can we envisage a safe environment

Lets not wait for our government and our country to do anything! We have seen what has been happening so far. and its only getting worse!

Let us do our bit today! Lets start by educating ONE girl child. Its time!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Selfishness Vs Selflessness

Selflessness is a virtue! Agree? But who has ever found out??? Coz at the end of the day EVERY human being is selfish and the sooner we accept that the better it is for us and for everyone around us.

Humans are not engineered or even capable of loving anyone more than themselves! Maybe as much..but never ever more!

When I started my talk with this truth to a group of women, there was chaos! Utter and complete chaos!! They all said they love their children the most and they would do anything for their child! One of them gave an example of how if she had one apple and her child asked for it she would happily give it! ( i would give it any child whether they ask for it or not) ,  another said her child's happiness is greater than hers ( provided of course if it suits her at that point of time) yet another said the most bonded  and precious relationship is that of a mother- child and a mother would do ANYTHING for that child! " Hold it there" I said.".by anything you mean anything"? One said" yes, even give our lives"! Bingo!

I posed the next question- If mothers are willing to give their lives, then how come we don't see any mother dying when her child dies'?  ( rare exceptions are the mentally disturbed ones) There was a long silence and everyone were squirming in their seats. They had no answer because there are NO answers! Life does go on with or without anyone! 

Agreed!  Mothers are  the most selfless of the lot! But most of it is done for self gratification, the desperate need to feel needed and wanted, to feel indispensable at least to someone!  I do need to add here even this is as long as the child does what she wants it to do! We often see when children grow up and have their opinions and sometimes disagree or contradict their moms, then some things change ( and not necessarily for the better!!  and not to mention the incessant chanting of how MUCH they are doing for their family! Tchh tchh..But then this is a different story altogether!

To put it in a nutshell! What is the moral of the story? Accept the fact that you need to have a life for  yourself  (at least a little- without feeling guilty or miserable) at least for an hour in a day do something just for yourself- dance, sing, start a hobby, do something productive ( watching soaps and chatting on the net dont count), balance your life and most important GET A LIFE! You will be a happy person and you will die a more contented person.
Zindagi rocks- selfish or selfless! :)