FOR WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN
For most human beings dying or death is the most frightening, most devastating, final, destructive, tragic, traumatizing, heartbreaking and what not. Death is - The end! More than dying it’s the visions of being roasted over a fire or being deep fried in oil is what scares most people! ( whether it’s fiction or fact doesn’t matter- the fear remains the same ) .Another fear that grips people is the death of their loved ones. Many precious moments are lost worrying and mourning about a certainty- some go early, some late, some suffer , the lucky ones die instantly.
But definitely not for me! To die is just another part of my journey. Must be a beautiful experience- to let go, be free and best part leaving behind all the shitpots of your life!
Death is the simple and basic truth! We are all mortals and we have to go one day! So what matters is not how and when you die but how you live.
Here are some well thought of instructions for the day I depart ( and a couple pre departure as well) for the ones who are lucky enough to outlive me.
Don’t s and Do’s
Pre death- (If I am not capable of making my own decisions)
DON’T -
· - Admit me in a cold antiseptic hospital when you know I am beyond medical intervention.
· - Sign any paper agreeing to keep me alive artificially ( if you do admit me ) ! don’t want the hospital to get richer and you poorer and me sicker.
· - Take care of me yourself ( though you will add brownie points in your karmic account but you can find some other ways to do that ) Just hire a home nurse or put me in a nice cheerful hospice. I have made the financial arrangements for such contingencies. So no feeding, cleaning, brushing my teeth, hair.. blah blah which will make you Florence nightingale for public but will make me miserable and guilty and after a point you too.
Post death
DON’T -
· - Make calls to all and sundry when I stop breathing . Those who are worth it will know. The rest didn’t matter in life and will matter less in death.
· - Keep my body for public viewing ! I don’t want people to gawk at my mortal remains. Most of the people would be who I didn’t know, who didn’t know me , who didn’t/don’t care, gave me grief and didn’t bother when I was alive . They will shed some tears ( for public consumption again) and have a few regrets. Many would also come to double check if I am really gone- glad to see the last of me. Though I would die to know what regrets they might have ( oops no pun intended )
· -Hang/ keep an outdated framed photo of mine. And worse, don’t you dare put a real/plastic garland around it. If you want to adorn me send me flowers now. In fact don’t hang any pictures. People who love me won’t need pictures. I’m dead sure of that! (oops no pun intended)
· - Perform any unwanted rituals – for instance the ‘serving the dead’ ritual ( which will be eaten by the ones living ) First of all you will have problems choosing 36 of my 594 most favourite dishes , getting it all cooked with my favourite ingredients and then serving it to the now dead me. I have eaten all that I want when I am alive and kicking . So I would be leaving fully satiated and happy. Most probably I would have died from bursting due to overeating.
· - Have any functions, call overfed janta and feed them an expensive meal after a 3 seconds cursory flower throwing at my still outdated framed picture! Sometimes people will also say nice things about me! Which they wouldn’t have when I was alive. Since I won’t be around to hear all this , you might as well skip the entire act.
· - Have any rituals for my ‘soul’ to rest in peace . My karmic account is all sorted and my soul is in peace already, set and ready for upcoming action . I have done my dharma without any appreciation, returns or rewards, most times without even acknowledgement or recognition . So I’m done and dusted ( oops again no pun intended) . And anyways you reap what you sow.
· - Have any regrets of not having done your two bit for me- you can do it now..call, chat, visit and even send expensive gifts. Open to everything
· - Shed tears. Total waste of time. For God’s sake I’m not going anywhere! It’s just that my body came with an expiry date (oops no pun intended again)
D0
· - Contact the organ donor organisation and give them the good news. ( they are more than welcome to any of my body parts which are still intact ) The card is in my wallet with all the details and a copy in your mail.
· - If you have the time, you can check on the recipients of my various functioning organs and if I haven’t spent all my money, you could pay part of the bill as well. You can also be dramatic- like listening to my heart beat and post the video on Facebook ( make sure you shed a few tears , for the impact of course)
· - Contact a teaching hospital and find out whether they want my body for the anatomy classes ( I am sure I will be the most beautiful there) . This way you won’t have to find 3 more people to carry my body plus you save costs on burial/ cremation . Killing many birds in one stone ( oops ! no pun intended again)
· - Throw a party for people who really really want to attend ( I have kept aside a reasonable sum for this ) play psytrance music, serve heady cocktails and exotic food ( please not my favourites) , smoke weed and have super fun. A perfect send off for my body.
· - Throw or give away everything I owned- no hoarding on sentimental grounds please
· Do remember me for the times I was a perfect bitch too! Death doesn’t absolve of all the crap I did in my lifetime and lives I have messed up. I would have done my retribution already.
· - Claim all that the insurance companies owe us. Have paid through my nose for the premiums.
· - Continue celebrating life and have your normal routine. Let not death stop anything. Like I could even if I wanted to.
· - Do have my ‘funral’ party at your convenience- not necessarily within a few days. Though I would suggest you do it before people ask “babita who?”
· - Have one ritual of pind in Varanasi as and when you visit there! No hurry since I’m anyways a dead duck and I have no particular agenda . Not that I’m superstitious but I love Varanasi and the Ganga. Would love to resume my journey from there.
As and when I remember I will update this page with more instructions. Until then I am going to celebrate and cherish every moment , touch the lives of the people and animals in my life and make a small difference, be kind, spread happiness and sunshine, love myself and people who are worth loving, add to my good karma , make time for people I care for and live in absolute peace , freedom and harmony.
Every moment is precious and is to be celebrated. In life or in death.
