Tuesday, July 25, 2017

My Death Wish


For most human beings dying or death is the most frightening, most devastating, final, destructive, tragic, traumatizing, heartbreaking and what not. Death is - The end! More than dying it’s the visions of being roasted over a fire or being deep fried in oil is what scares most people! ( whether it’s fiction or fact doesn’t matter- the fear remains the same ) .Another fear that grips people is the death of their loved ones. Many precious moments are lost worrying and mourning about a certainty- some go early, some late, some suffer , the lucky ones die instantly.

But definitely  not for me! To die is just another part of my journey. Must be a beautiful experience- to let go, be free and best part leaving behind all the shitpots of your life!

Death  is the simple and basic truth! We are all mortals and we have to go one day! So what matters is not how and when you die but how you live.

Here are  some  well thought of instructions for the day I depart ( and a couple pre departure  as well) for the ones who are lucky enough to outlive me.

Don’t s and Do’s

Pre death-  (If I am not capable of making my own decisions)


·      -   Admit me in a cold antiseptic hospital when you know I am beyond medical intervention.

·      -   Sign any paper agreeing to keep me alive artificially ( if you do admit me ) ! don’t want the hospital to get richer and you poorer and me sicker.

·      -   Take care of me yourself ( though you will add brownie points in your karmic account but you can find some other ways to do that  )  Just hire a home nurse or put me in a nice cheerful hospice. I  have made the financial arrangements for such contingencies. So  no feeding, cleaning, brushing my teeth, hair.. blah blah which will make you Florence nightingale for public but will make me miserable and guilty and after a point you too.

Post death


·     -   Make calls to all and sundry when I stop breathing . Those who are worth it will know. The rest didn’t matter in life and will matter less in death.

·      -  Keep my body for public viewing ! I don’t want people to gawk at my mortal remains. Most of the people would be who  I didn’t know, who didn’t know me , who didn’t/don’t  care, gave me grief and didn’t bother when I was alive .  They will shed some tears ( for public consumption again) and  have a few regrets. Many would also come to double check if I am really gone- glad to see the last of me. Though I would die to know what regrets they might have ( oops no pun intended )

·        -Hang/  keep an outdated framed photo  of mine. And worse,  don’t you dare put a real/plastic garland around it.  If you want to adorn me send me flowers now. In fact don’t hang any pictures. People who love me won’t need pictures. I’m dead sure of that! (oops no pun intended)

·    -     Perform any unwanted rituals – for instance the ‘serving the dead’ ritual  ( which will be eaten by  the ones living  )  First of all  you will have problems choosing 36 of my 594  most favourite dishes  , getting it all  cooked with my favourite ingredients  and then serving it to the now dead me. I  have eaten all that I want when I am alive and kicking . So I would be leaving fully satiated and happy. Most probably I would have died from bursting due to overeating.

·      -   Have any  functions, call overfed  janta and feed them an expensive meal  after a 3 seconds cursory flower throwing at my still outdated framed picture! Sometimes people will also say nice things about me! Which they wouldn’t have  when I was alive. Since I won’t be around to hear all this  , you might as well skip the entire act.

·      -   Have any rituals for my ‘soul’ to rest in peace . My karmic account is all sorted and my soul is in peace already, set and ready for upcoming action . I have done my dharma  without any appreciation, returns or rewards, most times without even acknowledgement or recognition . So I’m done and dusted ( oops again no pun intended) . And anyways you reap what you sow.

·        - Have any regrets of not having done your two bit for me- you can do it now..call, chat, visit and even send expensive gifts. Open to everything

·      -   Shed tears. Total waste of time. For God’s sake I’m not going anywhere! It’s just that my body came with an  expiry  date (oops no pun intended again)


·      -   Contact the organ donor organisation and give them the good news. ( they are more than welcome to any of my body parts which are still intact ) The card is in my wallet with all the details and a copy in your mail.

·    -     If you have the time, you can check on  the recipients of my various functioning  organs and if I haven’t spent all my money, you could pay part of the bill as well. You can also be dramatic-  like listening to my heart beat and post the video  on Facebook ( make sure you shed a few tears , for the impact of course)

·      -   Contact a teaching hospital and find out whether they want my body for the anatomy classes ( I am sure I will be the most beautiful there) . This way you won’t have to find 3 more people to carry my body plus you save costs on burial/ cremation . Killing many birds in one stone ( oops ! no pun intended again)

·      -  Throw a party for people who really really want to attend ( I have kept aside a reasonable sum for this ) play psytrance music, serve heady cocktails and exotic food ( please not my favourites)  , smoke weed and have super fun.  A perfect send off for my body.

·      -   Throw or give away everything I owned- no hoarding on sentimental grounds please
·        Do remember me for the times I was a perfect bitch too! Death doesn’t absolve of all the crap I did in my lifetime and lives I have messed up. I would have done my retribution already.

·      -   Claim all that the insurance companies owe us. Have paid through my nose for the premiums.

·       -  Continue celebrating life and have your normal routine. Let not death stop anything. Like I could even if I wanted to.

·      -   Do  have my  ‘funral’ party at your convenience-   not necessarily within a few days. Though I would suggest you do it before people ask “babita who?”

·        - Have one ritual of pind in Varanasi as and when you visit there! No hurry since I’m anyways a dead duck  and  I have no particular agenda .  Not that I’m superstitious but I love Varanasi and the Ganga. Would love to resume my journey from there.

As and when I remember I will update this page with more instructions. Until then I am going to celebrate and cherish every moment , touch the lives of the people and animals in my life and make a small difference, be  kind, spread happiness and sunshine,  love myself  and people who are worth loving, add to my good karma , make time for people I care for  and live in absolute  peace , freedom and harmony.
Every moment is precious and is to be celebrated. In life or in death.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

MOB vs Us

What  happened in our capital city recently  is without doubt very disturbing but didn’t take anyone much  by surprise. I want to give you my perception and experiences about such situations so we understand things better.

Few facts

1.    Mobs- Men find strength and power in a group; the larger the better. It is said that when men are in a mob they lose all fear . The thought process and behaviour alters drastically. The crowd becomes a separate entity- a powerful entity. They unite as one despite all differences.  We are aware of countless  terrible incidents when mobs go on a rampage, provoked or not, with reasoning or without,  attacking men, women and children alike.

2.    Alcohol- Men in a mob are bad enough! Drunk men in a mob is something else. Our brains rely on a delicate balance of chemicals and processes. Alcohol is a depressant, which means it can disrupt that balance, affecting our thoughts, feelings and actions

3.    Opportunities- Men in this state look for the smallest opportunity to act and when they do, nothing can stop them. Cops nor cctv cameras. And women become the most coveted and sought after opportunity, which the men wouldn’t miss for anything.

4.    Darkness- Whether its  day or night doesn’t matter to a mob. They take more comfort in the dark because it gives them  anonymity and safety. They tend to act more brutally and fearlessly in darkness.

With these facts in place, I want to share couple of experiences with a mob that made me realise how fragile and vulnerable we are.

A few years ago, a girlfriend and I went on a Kinetic Honda for the Usha Uthup show held in a hall in one of the main roads of the city at around 6.15 pm. We parked the scooter on the opposite side of the road and went to the gate with our passes. But we weren’t allowed inside. There was a small crowd and about 6 armed policemen there. We came back and got onto our scooter and within seconds we were surrounded by 50 men in a perfect, tight  circle formation  ( there must have been at least 20 circles  and all this was done telepathically and like they were trained in these formations ) and about 20 hands started groping us from all sides. Luckily, my friend  had the presence of mind .She started the scooter and we flew- over several feet , knocking a few men down  and we didn’t stop until we reached our home! We were in a complete state of shock for multiple reasons! One that this happened in broad daylight, two- it happened in the main road , three- there were police men there and nobody cared!  Fourth- No one could do anything even if they wanted to.  Fifth and most important- The realisation that we are vulnerable and helpless .  Our first terrifying brush with the MOB

The second time was in a music concert that was a fund raiser for the pain and palliative center of our city. It was mainly sponsored by the Enfield bikers from UK who were touring India  ( They buy Enfield bikes from India, tour the country and when they leave they sell the bikes and donate the sale proceeds to deserving causes and our centre was one of them) Back to the concert- the families were in the upper section and the men were below. Halfway through the bikers came in ( after all they were the donors) both men and women. They were standing in the back of the hall. And all of a sudden, within seconds a large group of men  surrounded one woman and started molesting her ( the same perfect circle formation ) We were watching from up totally horrified and few of the men ran downstairs. But nobody could break through this; not even the 6 footer bikers.  The music stopped and I think it was with divine intervention, a couple of men managed to get in and they bodily lifted this woman over their heads and carried her out! Again MOB power. And we were all watching from above, helplessly.


When there is a mob ( whether sober, drunk, educated, young, old doesn’t matter) , there’s very little anyone can do. Whether you are the law or armed or the President of the country.

Bottom line

We have to be smart and use our common sense and decide what is safe for us and what we are in control of. All this funda about gender equality, woman power, lets show what we are is good on paper, not when you are in a crazed united mob. Its definitely better to be safe than sorry